Travelblog – 6th of August 2010 – Conclusion
You know what? I don't want to write this anymore. It doesn't strengthen the memory, as I thought it would, it just makes other people know what happened too - in a way too boring and asocial way. That's not how it should be done. It should be asked by an interested party and then told, in the best way possible to just keep the momentum of the memory going. I had a great time. Heck, I had one of the best times in my life and if you want to hear about it, just ask. I am not one for hiding anything.
But I got to tell you something. There is something about getting into a tight-knitted group of friends, be accepted right away, have a shitload of fun with them and then just get ripped away from it all without much of a chance to say proper goodbyes. It's as if I started living a completely other life, finally sank into my role and then had to part ways. In the sort of way like "I will probably never see you guys again" kind of way, even though that might not be true. It's kind of heartbreaking and, ya know, probably a bit pathetic. It's like waking up from a great dream, yet a more vivid and real one at that.
There are certain things that could have been better, of course. My plans of visiting someone in Manchester did not pan out the way I had hoped. Another thing was that it was a bit tough reading each other when you have just met. I would, negatively, take a lot of silence as a bad thing instead of what it is; comfortable silence. It wasn't like that all the time, of course - but I am a worrier - and I worried I could have been a better person there, despite me trying my very best.
The great thing was that no one behaved artificially to me. Everybody was so amazingly nice - treated me, gave me pats on the shoulder. At the last party, people would come up and say "Oh, you are Rune! I've heard about you!". Incidentally, I think everyone at that party had heard about me through some link or another. It was just great. I was welcome and I could feel it, by being told it.
The normal days are slowly getting back under my skin again. I feel constantly tired, there is nothing to do but search for jobs I don't want and the dwindling feeling that I am wasting my life away by not knowing what I want to do with it. It'll come to me, as long as I stay on the ride.
Being with those guys, though (they were 19 and one 16), I came to realize that I am too young to be this old.
See you on the flip side.
Travelblog – 5th of August 2010
The thing with youth hostels (and probably everywhere hostel or hotel like, really) is that you have to be out by 10. This gets a bit tough if you feel like you have had zero sleep and have a friend who hates on his alarm to make it shut up and rolls over. I decided to just let him sleep for a bit more and fend off anyone who wants to clean our room. Sadly, however, I accidentally locked myself outside (We only had one key, Tom had it, but I have no idea where) because the door just wanted to slam even though I tried to keep it open.
I went for a walk around, then came back and I heard music. Great, I thought, Tom is awake. I knock on the door but Sam, a guy we met the previous day, opened up. Tom was still fast asleep and was impossible to get up, despite loud talking and music. We chatted back and forth and he had been staying in Bath for a couple of days, getting drunk in the pubs. He had found a cheaper hostel down into town, so you didn't have to climb this massive mountain up to the youth hostel. 11 pounds! It really doesn't hurt to look around. We got Tom up and got ourselves checked out. We gave Sam a lift to the town as we needed to find a Vodafone store to get my phone fixed. We walked him to his new hostel and headed out to find a Vodafone store, which was amazingly hard to do. We met up with Sam again and just walked around. We got some sausage rolls (Why do the British insist on covering everything in pastry?) and finally found the Vodafone store. A friendly girl fixed up my internet and I bought another SD card so I could at least take some pictures.
Our plan was to see the rest of Bath (Royal Crescent and more) but we just wondered, having an amazing chat with Sam. He had basically been backpacking for 3 month so far out of a 6 month trip. He had been anywhere of interest; Dubai, Paris, London, but had been staying in Bath for quite a few days as he had found a girl he was thoroughly enjoying.. you know what I mean. As we were about to actually do something productive, the parking ran out and we had to leave. Saying goodbye to Sam, we started heading towards Whitesands Bay in Wales.
The trip up there started out with some horrible, horrible motorways but as soon as we got past Cardiff (Capital of Wales), we started getting the more fun roads and with less traffic. We went into a few stores to get beer, food and disposable barbecues. As soon as we came to the coast, we had absolutely no idea where to go. We decided to follow the GPS SatNav, which was set to the postcode in Whitesands Bay. Eventually, we came to a split where the route ended and decided to go down one of them. We came by an abandoned hotel, which was creepy as hell but further down that road we.. very conveniently found a map on the road, showing where the various camping spots and beaches are.
We went back and drove to the closest one. The view was simply breathtaking. A very white beach surrounded by huge cliffs but sadly it was very cloudy. The beach was actually quite busy, despite it being 6-7 pm. We drove in, found a camping spot and put our tent up, ghetto style (tied to the car). Taking in the view, we started up the barbecue and started drinking. I tried out the scotch egg and we had a couple of sausages together with some lamb. It was actually some quite great food, despite the cost and the means it was prepared in. While sitting there, we saw several weird things. A reoccurring and moving light out at sea, random people coming down to the beach with light sticks on their head, moving in very very weird ways, freaking the fuck out of everybody and things written in the sand. The beers disappeared and we decided to head to our tent.
On the way back, we approached by a guy, asking us if we wanted to sit down at their bonfire. We immediately said yes and that was how we met Ollie, Andrew, George, Alexi, Jessica and another one I can't remember the name of. We were introduced to such things as tide watch, rock watch, rain watch and songs associated with it. Andrew and George were amazing singers, so we started to sing various songs. George also happened to be a ballerina (Apparently there isn't a word for the male equivalent of it) and both had been in quires. Drinks were had, I tried out some Sambuca and Jack Daniels. I do not remember a thing afterwards, other than vomiting quite a few times. The day after, we both felt pretty rough. We blame the red wine.
Travelblog – 4th of August 2010
Woke up with a good cup of coffee and we started to plan the trip in details, writing down addresses and contact details for hostels.
Our plan goes like this:
Wednesday
4th August
Leave Hitchin.
Head for Stonehenge.
Then for Wookey Hole.
Then finally Bath Youth Hostel.
Thursday
5th August
Visit Roman Baths.
Head for Brecon Beacons.
Then to Whitesands Beach.
Find an area to camp/stay.
Friday
6th August
Spend day on beach or in nearby town depending on the weather.
Late afternoon head for Snowdonia.
Then straight for Chester.
Saturday
7th August
Spend the day in Chester/Manchester.
Head for Blackpool.
Camp there.
Sunday
8th August
Spend the day in Blackpool.
Camp.
Monday
9th August
Head for the Lake District.
Stay the night.
Tuesday
10th August
Head for Hull Aquarium.
Head for Beverley.
Stay the night in Beverley.
Wednesday
11th August
Head for Sheringham.
Spend the day in Sheringham-Cromer.
Stay the night at hostel.
Thursday
12th August
Head home to Tom.
We went for the last Chilli Banana sandwich while stocking up on water and various snacks for the road. We brought along Gustav, who's leaving thursday, so we could say a proper goodbye to him. He, somehow, managed not to be hungover from the night before and was in a really hyper mood. We managed to say goodbye, drive back to Tom's, throw in luggage and everything, say goodbye to his mother and then drive off, 2 hours later than originally planned. And I must say one thing. In the UK, you will pretty much see all the latest models of various cars, especially if you are going on the highway. I am amazed I didn't get a sore neck from all the head turning I did, when an awesome car drove by.
We've heard that Stonehenge is really bad because of the big fence they have erected around it, so we just drove by in high speed and attempted to take the best pictures we could. It was worth seeing but we didn't really want to pay to get inside the first fence and then be restricted to another fence. Plus, they charge for parking out there in the middle of nowhere. It was too late to head to Wookey Caves, so we just decided to go directly to Bath, which is up and down some pretty steep hills. But when we then saw the city.. it was breathtaking. It was like we stepped into another country; every building is of roman/italian architecture with no exceptions, creating a unique experience and atmosphere.
Before heading down into it, we went to the youth hostel and got a place to stay for the night. It cost 19 pound, 3 more than originally expected, but it wasn't a bad place at all. Anyway, we then went down to the city, which was down another steep hill and took a load of pictures while trying to find a pub and a place to eat. Then, at random, my SD card just said it didn't want to cooperate anymore with the consequences that I might have lost every picture I have taken so far. It fucking sucked, because there was an epic sunset I would have loved to have taken a picture of.
We found some food at a random place and then went for a pub while keeping an eye out for a Vodafone store so we can get my internet on my phone fixed. We didn't find one before reaching a small pub down an "alleyway". I got the trip's first Guinness, well poured and delicious. Bummed about my phone not working and the annoying idea that Wookey Caves might be out of our price range, after having discovered that the Roman Baths costs 12 pounds per person, we just decided to head back to the hostel.
There, we found several beers and bought some internet so we could check facebook and the prices for Wookey Cave. 16 pounds! We decided against going and would just head straight for White Sands the next day instead. We then just lounged about before heading off to bed.
Travelblog – 3rd of August 2010
Woke up at 12 and we tried to plan it all out. We got some pointers down on paper and then just went out into the day. We meet up with Tom's friends again and we went downtown to grab a sandwich. The place is called Chilli Banana and it's just one of those places that is full of charm. I got a "Lord of the Blimp", I think it was called, which was marinated chicken, jalapeños, chilli sauce, some kind of cheese in a ciabatta bun The sandwich was amazing, which was topped off with some great lemon soda called San Peregrino Limonata. We ate it at a church down to a river of some kind, was pretty. Afterwards we went on to Vodafone to figure something out about using my phone to find tourist attractions and such, so we pretty much needed a dataplan for my phone. We managed to get one for 7.50 pound plus a charge of 5 pounds to get the sim card. Not too bad for a tourist and it gives us about 250 megabyte to use, which is plenty.
We went to Sainsbury to get some blank CDs so we can bring some music along the ride as well as pick up some booze for a night of drunken fun with his friends. We went straight to a friend of his' house where I met a couple of extra people. After we walked their dog, a really awesome one named Buster, we decided to just start drinking at their place. We played "Ring of Fire",
which is really really fun as well as "I've Never", as a sort of an ice breaker. Not that we needed it, since all of us were drunk from the previous game. Was fun anyway. I met their dad, Doug, who was a really cool guy. Knew more about Denmark than all of Tom's friends combined.
Afterwards we just walked home, ate a pizza and went to a drunken sleep.
Just for the record, I think I will just describe the people I've met so far, from what I've noticed about them:
Tom: Real cool guy. He is the one I'm visiting and going on the roadtrip with. Down to earth and fun to talk with.
Jamie: Friendly guy with a lot of jokes. Became a bit of a mean drunk but is quite fun.
Gustav: Swedish guy who's visiting England for the second time. First time he got drunk. He is just one of those guys who want to pop out and seem interesting, which he quite is. It's rare that you see such a young guy travelling all alone. Poor fellow got pressured into drinking just a bit too much.
Maddie: Beautiful but in a cute way, very down to earth kind of girl. She is just that kind of awesome girl that you can be friends with, with ease. Real friendly.
Ryan: Maddie's brother. Laid back kind of guy with a unique sense of humour. Real great to talk to.
and they've been able to pronounce my name almost properly. No points to the Swede for that, however.
Travelblog – 2nd of August 2010
Alright guys, I've decided to make a bit of a travelblog, just for nostalgia reasons and to document my travelling with the great Tom Strawberry.
I arrived at the Billund airport and went through the annoying queue of having to check in. I was ever so happy that they actually do some kind of "You a moron and relatively new to this? Do this and that!" Ate a decent meal at the café there while looking at the arrivals. It's relatively awesome to look at all those happy people coming home from a great vacation to their normal lives. A rare glimpse into other peoples' lives. The entire airport thing kind of got to me, since it reminds me a great deal of my ex. Having to go to England and speak English again kind of strengthened that a bit. She is missed. The flight here was quite uneventful but I had the idea that the flight would only take 30 minutes, while it took more like 1 hour 30 minutes. Probably something to do with not knowing whether or not they changed it to local time or not. Must have sucked for Tom but he decided to read up on his car's manual.
I landed, checked in and met up with the guy. People are really not that tall over here. Nervous chatting ensues and we drive back towards his place. The plan was to go and watch Toy Story 3 - but we were stretching it a bit, time-wise. I met his parents, who are just great and friendly people, and then we sped off to find his friends, put them into a small car and then drive off. We were about 25 minutes late, but the movie hadn't even started yet, much to our surprise. And what a great movie it was! Toy Story 3 didn't disappoint - it just kind of sang a soft song for your nostalgia bone and kept reeling you in with a great story and amazing voice acting.
Dropped the friends off and went home for a bit of planning but we were simply just too tired. I've slept absolutely nothing so I couldn't even read. We went to sleep.
Choices, Future, Present – What Now?
Time for one of those blog updates that are all about ME! Yeah, I know, I know but I don't enjoy writing these either. It is merely for me to understand what the hell is going on, getting it off my shoulders and be able to look at it from another perspective a bit.
I can't exactly go unemployed forever and since there is pretty much nothing available to a guy with my education, I need to move in a different direction. I have always wanted to educate myself more but have been unable to because of money and other circumstances.
I have always been someone who never know what he wanted to do with life. I know what I enjoy and that is about it. Sadly, most of those things I can't really do as a job - unless I get one of those "once in a thousand" jobs. So I just decided to study what I love and then take the job bridge when I get to it.
I have always played with the idea of going to the university, but lacked the means and personal freedom to do it - but I just wrote down what things I'd love to study. The list was shorter than I thought it would be, but one thing just stuck out from everything else: English.
I've always loved languages, especially Danish and English - but have also loved English literature and their culture (to an extend) - so it felt like a bit of a natural choice. Happy and fulfilled that I have finally found something I thought I might like, I researched it a bit and decided to send an application right away, since a good friend told me I still had a few days to apply in.
Alas, the rejection came mere 2 days later. I had missed one point that said I needed another language at the highest level (Here in Denmark, we have a system. A is the highest "level" you can learn, while F is the lowest). That is, I need Danish at A, English at A and another language at A. I researched it a bit further and realized that every field in the "Humanitarian" group (Pretty much just languages, cultures and such) requires this. I shook my head because there was no logic in this at all, especially since English is pretty much every Dane's secondary language. Why would I need to know a third language at such a high level to learn more about English?
I sent a complaint about this decision and got a rapid response back. Obviously, they won't budge - but they told me that it was the government that changed this in 2008. Great, if I had just applied back fucking then, I would be so happy. I am told that I am welcome to apply once I fulfill these criterion.
After this, I started to look for other educations but have been unable to find anything that really interests me. The only other thing is what is called "Writer's School", but they only take in 8 people a year out of about 250-500 applicants.
I am still quite interested in taking English and since I have Spanish at a C, I will only need to study Spanish at B and A. But it is only select schools in this country that teach this and even fewer that teach a language from the ground up to A - so my hands are a bit tied on that matter. To add to the fact, if I want to learn this in under a year, I will have to move to Copenhagen - which is certainly not an easy or cheap city in live in and I will have absolutely no job or cash flow. If I want to do Spanish B and A in 2 years, I can go to Aalborg, a city where most of my friends live, but I think that 2 years it too long to wait. Incidentally, before I thought about education, I had also thought about just moving to Aalborg and get a job up there until I figure out what I want or until I find a job I actually like.
So right now, I have absolutely no idea what the fuck to do. I also have the faint thought, in the back of my head, that I might not be able to learn Spanish and that I will fail, future adding to the failure of this whole situation. It's only a tiny voice and, I figured, is most likely without reason - since I will have plenty of time to practice and get better. Another small thing is that I practically forgotten everything Spanish, except the grammar and sentence syntaxes, so I'd have to teach myself this somehow quickly.
I will have to figure something out quickly, else I will have bypassed the deadline for the extra Spanish classes.
Dammit.
Sarina Paris – Look At Us
For all the times that we,
We ever wouldn't be,
Look at us baby,
Look at us now,
For everyday that I should have you by my side,
We'll make it baby,
Look at us now,
For every night I pray,
I know that you will stay,
Look at us baby,
Look at us now,
Remembering the time our love was not so fine,
We made it baby,
Look at us now,
Baby look at us,
Everybody believed we would never be,
Look at us up above,
We are so in love,
Everyday in your arms,
Baby can't go wrong we are strong look at us now,
For all the times that we,
We ever were to be,
Look at us baby,
Look at us now,
For everyday that I should have you by my side,
We'll make it baby,
Look at us now,
For every night I pray,
I know that you will stay,
Look at us baby,
Look at us now,
Remembering the time,
Our love was not so fine,
We made it baby,
Look at us
Baby look at us,
Baby look at us,
Baby look at us.
---------------
I don't know if you are still out there, but this was the song that made me smile. Now I can listen to it again and remember an amazing period. I smile.
Update on Life
Hey there.
I am currently writing on a project, that is pretty much writing itself. I even had to stop yesterday, just because it was too late to write more - so I cut a chapter in two. It's an amazing feeling, to create something with such ease. I truly try to make it as authentic as possible, but since I have no one to ask about how homosexuality treated them at such a young age, all I can pretty much do is predict and assume. I am a perfectionist at heart, which means I try not to look back at something I have written, because I will change on it constantly and never publish it. Now I just write, then publish it right after. No grammar checking, no typo-fixing - just straight to be published.
Onto my personal life, I have been to my first job interview, which went rather well. I will know if I have been accepted for a position on Friday. I seem to have reasonably good odds, since they are looking for 3 positions to be filled. I was selected out of 140 applies to an interview where there were only 18. Could be worse, I reckon. I just spend my days writing, training, chatting, meeting up with friends and gaming. It can get relatively boring - especially when everyone you know is working. It'll be just awesome to get a new job - hopefully create an entirely new life for me. You will never know.
On a related note on changing life, I finally told "my crush" (Yes, let's be teenagers about it) how I felt about her. Unfortunately, she is one busy girl, so all she could do was acknowledged it until a point where she have the time to respond properly. I truly wanted to say it to her face, after I have kind of "refreshed" my "view" on her or seen her again. But it wasn't possible due to unforeseen circumstances (Yay for references). Her reply back is the only thing I am really looking forward to in the near future, other than the job. I doubt, at this point, that it will change anything - but it is very important to me that she at least knows. Just sending that shit made me feel a lot better, more carefree and like a load was removed from my head.
I am getting no comments and feedback back from anything I have written, so I am just to assume that everything is awesomely perfect and it couldn't be any better.
I must admit, my main motivation for training have been somewhat subdued, but I keep pressing myself and training daily. My weight is going a bit up and down lately, which I am blaming on muscle build up. I feel like I eat less and less every day, which isn't bothering me much, most likely because I don't spend a lot of energy throughout the day - except when training, which a good cereal and a smoothie certainly keeps me going. I am about 12 kilograms away from my first goal - but people around me can see that I have lost weight. I just don't feel it, yet. Or see it. Which sucks.
That about it for now, I suppose.
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Without a Purpose – “futureless”
"Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t."
Such are the lyrics to Baz Luhrmann - Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen). I have often taken refuge in this text because I, quite frankly, do not know what I want to do with my life. I know what I enjoy; but I also know that, what I enjoy, I cannot build a career on, without being extremely skilled, extremely charismatic or get a once-in-a-lifetime job. When I share this to people, I am often surprised to hear that they don't enjoy their jobs or education either, but that they just suck it up. How can they do this? I don't understand how you can tolerate going to a job/education you hate, for many the rest of your life. People sure are doing their very best at breaking down - which kinds of shows a backwards culture. None of them never seem to have thought "Why should I do something I do not enjoy?" and just go on with their lives in misery, where the only reward for being bored and/or stressed out happens in the weekends. I enjoy educating myself, writing, general escape-from-realism things, such as gaming, reading, watching series and movies. I also found myself to be a very social person, which is quite ironic, since I am very shy. How can anyone get an career out of this?
I am a simple man. I enjoy simple things, so I do not find myself difficult. I am not making unrealistic demands to life - I am just attempting to get out of this "futureless" state I am stuck in. "What kind of funny word was that, young man?!" That word was used by someone very dear to me, who doesn't seem to want to have anything to do with such a person, so it has been grudging me a bit more, than it normally would. I am sure it is just a criteria for an ideal man, but I kind of want to increase my chance and not reduce it. How silly does that sound.
I, more often than I should, think about the future. I have some ideas of what I want, but nothing that can really end in a career I'd enjoy. I like studying, educating myself. Becoming smarter. I also enjoy writing, which means I am quite fond of languages, journalism and other things. But if I went into the university to study English, I would very much doubt there'd be a job for me. I even have no idea, what kind of job someone like that would be able to get. Besides that, I truly want to see the world and I love helping people, so maybe just volunteering in certain international programs, but as far as I can understand, there are an overflood of people who want to help out and "see the world" plus I apparently have to pay for most of it myself, which I don't have the money for. That leaves out just traveling with myself or perhaps a friend, but that also costs some big green dollar bills I currently do not possess.
"But what about your current educations?!". Yeah, sure. I got a HHX (Higher Business Education) as well as an IT-supporter I just completed. The first one, I felt, was a waste of time. I do not want to be anything inside of sales or marketing, despite how much it pays. I will not enjoy it and I will begin to hate customers (as I started to do in my previous job), which is entirely not their fault but just the circumstances that makes me an angry t-rex. The IT-supporter was meant as a foundation, a safe-keep you could say. That was before I am in the situation I am in, now. Back then, I kind of knew I'd want to educate myself more, but because I had a girlfriend who also wanted to do it, it would have been smartest for me to get a job with my IT-supporter education, so she could get started on enjoying her own life. Alas, I no longer need to think about that. Now I got the education but due to the work situation here in Denmark, I am having huge difficulties getting a job.
Another Status Update
I can't exactly remember what I wrote last time I made one of these, but I have always had a habit of not rereading anything I write. This have always bitten me in my ass, but I just can't get myself to start doing it so, what I say now might be a repeat.
I am now without a job and I am still trying to figure out how to tell the government I am searching for new jobs, how to tell my worker's union that I am unemployed, so I can get some money and not be completely broke (Yay, Denmark - if you are curious, wikipedia it). But, I am taking this as an opportunity for a reboot of my life (As I also don't have a girlfriend or an apartment anymore). I am currently applying all over the country and have told myself, that I will move for whatever job I find. It can be risky, but I don't really have anything to loose other than money and I am sure it will be an experience for me. Should bring in new opportunities, new friends and a new sensation of achievement and accomplishment.
Besides that, I am just settling my private life. I am now at the bottom, with a healthy reserve of friends, some of them amazing and actually want to spend time with me (GASP!) as well as some older friends, I have regained contact with - thankfully for the better. I have an interest in someone special, but I shall just leave it at that - as a fleeting comment because I don't want to put much into it, if there is nothing there. I am trying to keep myself from going into a rut while being out of work - I have therefore scheduled a "busy" day, getting up at specific times, exercising, applying for jobs, writing (or being creative) and then just me-time. But being available pretty much 24/7 during the days should make for some quality time with friends and more - a friend of mine have even invited me around - which will be fun, I am sure.
I am currently having a few projects I haven't started on. One of them kind of requires a good mental stability, which I do have at the moment - but stay tuned for it. I hope you will like it. I am still, actively, writing on Robert as well as some personal stories that most likely won't be released here. My danish story is on hold, because I do not feel there is an audience for it - but I might rewrite it. It would be awesome, to get a book deal here in Denmark, though. Maybe if I get the concentration, motivation and more to get that moving.
I suppose that is it for now.