Dear diary,

I am so sorry about having neglected you. There's just been so much on my plate. Looking back at my latest post, you have probably been wondering what happened. Well, it's been a long holiday and it's, unfortunately, been full of a longing for a certain someone. Malene, as you know, went on a long trip after our week of fun. Before she left we.. how do I say this best.. we had sex. We fucked. We did the vertical lesbian dance. It was amazing, everything that I had thought it would to be. It felt so natural and smooth and slick and I just fell even more in love with Malene. We cuddled, snuggled, hugged, kissed afterwards but I had no idea what to believe. Did she like me? Did she just do it to try something new? As you know, she had to leave a few days after. We parted with a big kiss and a huge hug and I have not been able to get a hold of her until recently because of her being in a different country.

So the entire holiday was unbearable. I'd constantly think about her and be nervous about what would happen. I didn't have anything to do other than to hang out with my parents, who took us for a couple of weekend long holidays around in the country. Nothing too interesting, but it kept my mind occupied. I tried to build up the courage to ask her what was going on, but a part of me just wanted to see where this is going rather than have certainty and stability in what is going on. I've idly been texting a few friends every now and then, asking them about what one should do if I have a crush on someone. Everybody told me to confront them, but I never told them who, despite them asking constantly. They just want some gossip, so I just wrote "You'll know eventually ". I also went to a few parties I got invited to, but never really got into it since I usually drank with Malene. Felt a bit odd, but I got very drunk and danced a lot. It felt great, just letting go and do whatever the hell you want to. I figured that's how life should be lived, yet it only really happens when I get drunk. When I'm not, I just become a shut in again and not really talk to anyone about anything other than normal girl talk. I think the gossip about me liking someone had gotten the boys to kind of back off a little bit, probably hoping that they might be the one. Heh, just look at that, I have a lot of self confidence.

I met Susan's mother the other day. She said hi, but I couldn't get myself to say a word to her. I felt disgusted by her very presence and just stared at her until she went away. I relived everything in my mind and I just can't help imagining what Sus would think about me dating Malene. Or about me liking girls. Maybe she'd be jealous? Maybe she would hate me. Maybe she'd not care. I like to think that she was one of the good girls but I can't help but feel that she was very close-minded, probably because of her parents and the way they raised her. But I miss her. I miss her a lot. Not a day goes by without me thinking about her.. and Malene. Fuck, I miss those two girls.

Miss, you might ask? Yes, Malene is still gone. It is early September, school started 3 weeks ago and she isn't back yet. I have no idea where she is, I haven't received any letters, phone calls or text messages and I walk by their house every day to see if they are home. I keep trying to think if she dropped any messages saying she'd be gone for longer. I even asked the teachers and they have no idea either. I'm not too worried, for some reason, but I just miss that pretty girl. Her smile.

I don't really have anyone to talk to at school now a days, so I've just been talking to whoever have approached me. A couple of guys have moved to the table next to me in school, so I've been chatting away with them. They've mostly been trying to annoy me, because apparently that's why guys do if they are interested in one, but I've just been keeping them at bay - talking without really saying anything. They've been texting me, too - just casual stuff like "Want to hang out?" or "Want to go to this party?". I think I just might.

Good night, diary.

Related posts:

1. Dear Diary – Chapter 16
2. Dear Diary – Chapter 10
3. Dear Diary – Chapter 12

But I got to tell you something. There is something about getting into a tight-knitted group of friends, be accepted right away, have a shitload of fun with them and then just get ripped away from it all without much of a chance to say proper goodbyes. It's as if I started living a completely other life, finally sank into my role and then had to part ways. In the sort of way like "I will probably never see you guys again" kind of way, even though that might not be true. It's kind of heartbreaking and, ya know, probably a bit pathetic. It's like waking up from a great dream, yet a more vivid and real one at that.

There are certain things that could have been better, of course. My plans of visiting someone in Manchester did not pan out the way I had hoped. Another thing was that it was a bit tough reading each other when you have just met. I would, negatively, take a lot of silence as a bad thing instead of what it is; comfortable silence. It wasn't like that all the time, of course - but I am a worrier - and I worried I could have been a better person there, despite me trying my very best.

The great thing was that no one behaved artificially to me. Everybody was so amazingly nice - treated me, gave me pats on the shoulder. At the last party, people would come up and say "Oh, you are Rune! I've heard about you!". Incidentally, I think everyone at that party had heard about me through some link or another. It was just great. I was welcome and I could feel it, by being told it.

The normal days are slowly getting back under my skin again. I feel constantly tired, there is nothing to do but search for jobs I don't want and the dwindling feeling that I am wasting my life away by not knowing what I want to do with it. It'll come to me, as long as I stay on the ride.

Being with those guys, though (they were 19 and one 16), I came to realize that I am too young to be this old.

See you on the flip side.

Related posts:

1. Travelblog – 2nd of August 2010
2. Travelblog – 3rd of August 2010
3. Travelblog – 5th of August 2010

I went for a walk around, then came back and I heard music. Great, I thought, Tom is awake. I knock on the door but Sam, a guy we met the previous day, opened up. Tom was still fast asleep and was impossible to get up, despite loud talking and music. We chatted back and forth and he had been staying in Bath for a couple of days, getting drunk in the pubs. He had found a cheaper hostel down into town, so you didn't have to climb this massive mountain up to the youth hostel. 11 pounds! It really doesn't hurt to look around. We got Tom up and got ourselves checked out. We gave Sam a lift to the town as we needed to find a Vodafone store to get my phone fixed. We walked him to his new hostel and headed out to find a Vodafone store, which was amazingly hard to do. We met up with Sam again and just walked around. We got some sausage rolls (Why do the British insist on covering everything in pastry?) and finally found the Vodafone store. A friendly girl fixed up my internet and I bought another SD card so I could at least take some pictures.

Our plan was to see the rest of Bath (Royal Crescent and more) but we just wondered, having an amazing chat with Sam. He had basically been backpacking for 3 month so far out of a 6 month trip. He had been anywhere of interest; Dubai, Paris, London, but had been staying in Bath for quite a few days as he had found a girl he was thoroughly enjoying.. you know what I mean. As we were about to actually do something productive, the parking ran out and we had to leave. Saying goodbye to Sam, we started heading towards Whitesands Bay in Wales.

The trip up there started out with some horrible, horrible motorways but as soon as we got past Cardiff (Capital of Wales), we started getting the more fun roads and with less traffic. We went into a few stores to get beer, food and disposable barbecues. As soon as we came to the coast, we had absolutely no idea where to go. We decided to follow the GPS SatNav, which was set to the postcode in Whitesands Bay. Eventually, we came to a split where the route ended and decided to go down one of them. We came by an abandoned hotel, which was creepy as hell but further down that road we.. very conveniently found a map on the road, showing where the various camping spots and beaches are.

We went back and drove to the closest one. The view was simply breathtaking. A very white beach surrounded by huge cliffs but sadly it was very cloudy. The beach was actually quite busy, despite it being 6-7 pm. We drove in, found a camping spot and put our tent up, ghetto style (tied to the car). Taking in the view, we started up the barbecue and started drinking. I tried out the scotch egg and we had a couple of sausages together with some lamb. It was actually some quite great food, despite the cost and the means it was prepared in. While sitting there, we saw several weird things. A reoccurring and moving light out at sea, random people coming down to the beach with light sticks on their head, moving in very very weird ways, freaking the fuck out of everybody and things written in the sand. The beers disappeared and we decided to head to our tent.

On the way back, we approached by a guy, asking us if we wanted to sit down at their bonfire. We immediately said yes and that was how we met Ollie, Andrew, George, Alexi, Jessica and another one I can't remember the name of. We were introduced to such things as tide watch, rock watch, rain watch and songs associated with it. Andrew and George were amazing singers, so we started to sing various songs. George also happened to be a ballerina (Apparently there isn't a word for the male equivalent of it) and both had been in quires. Drinks were had, I tried out some Sambuca and Jack Daniels. I do not remember a thing afterwards, other than vomiting quite a few times. The day after, we both felt pretty rough. We blame the red wine.

Related posts:

1. Travelblog – 4th of August 2010
2. Travelblog – 3rd of August 2010
3. Travelblog – 2nd of August 2010

Our plan goes like this:

Wednesday
4th August

Leave Hitchin.

Head for Stonehenge.

Then for Wookey Hole.

Then finally Bath Youth Hostel.

Thursday
5th August

Visit Roman Baths.

Head for Brecon Beacons.

Then to Whitesands Beach.

Find an area to camp/stay.

Friday
6th August

Spend day on beach or in nearby town depending on the weather.

Late afternoon head for Snowdonia.

Then straight for Chester.

Saturday
7th August

Spend the day in Chester/Manchester.

Head for Blackpool.

Camp there.

Sunday
8th August

Spend the day in Blackpool.

Camp.

Monday
9th August

Head for the Lake District.

Stay the night.

Tuesday
10th August

Head for Hull Aquarium.

Head for Beverley.

Stay the night in Beverley.

Wednesday
11th August

Head for Sheringham.

Spend the day in Sheringham-Cromer.

Stay the night at hostel.

Thursday
12th August

Head home to Tom.

We went for the last Chilli Banana sandwich while stocking up on water and various snacks for the road. We brought along Gustav, who's leaving thursday, so we could say a proper goodbye to him. He, somehow, managed not to be hungover from the night before and was in a really hyper mood. We managed to say goodbye, drive back to Tom's, throw in luggage and everything, say goodbye to his mother and then drive off, 2 hours later than originally planned. And I must say one thing. In the UK, you will pretty much see all the latest models of various cars, especially if you are going on the highway. I am amazed I didn't get a sore neck from all the head turning I did, when an awesome car drove by.

We've heard that Stonehenge is really bad because of the big fence they have erected around it, so we just drove by in high speed and attempted to take the best pictures we could. It was worth seeing but we didn't really want to pay to get inside the first fence and then be restricted to another fence. Plus, they charge for parking out there in the middle of nowhere. It was too late to head to Wookey Caves, so we just decided to go directly to Bath, which is up and down some pretty steep hills. But when we then saw the city.. it was breathtaking. It was like we stepped into another country; every building is of roman/italian architecture with no exceptions, creating a unique experience and atmosphere.

Before heading down into it, we went to the youth hostel and got a place to stay for the night. It cost 19 pound, 3 more than originally expected, but it wasn't a bad place at all. Anyway, we then went down to the city, which was down another steep hill and took a load of pictures while trying to find a pub and a place to eat. Then, at random, my SD card just said it didn't want to cooperate anymore with the consequences that I might have lost every picture I have taken so far. It fucking sucked, because there was an epic sunset I would have loved to have taken a picture of.

We found some food at a random place and then went for a pub while keeping an eye out for a Vodafone store so we can get my internet on my phone fixed. We didn't find one before reaching a small pub down an "alleyway". I got the trip's first Guinness, well poured and delicious. Bummed about my phone not working and the annoying idea that Wookey Caves might be out of our price range, after having discovered that the Roman Baths costs 12 pounds per person, we just decided to head back to the hostel.

There, we found several beers and bought some internet so we could check facebook and the prices for Wookey Cave. 16 pounds! We decided against going and would just head straight for White Sands the next day instead. We then just lounged about before heading off to bed.

Related posts:

1. Travelblog – 5th of August 2010
2. Travelblog – 2nd of August 2010
3. Travelblog – 6th of August 2010 – Conclusion

We went to Sainsbury to get some blank CDs so we can bring some music along the ride as well as pick up some booze for a night of drunken fun with his friends. We went straight to a friend of his' house where I met a couple of extra people. After we walked their dog, a really awesome one named Buster, we decided to just start drinking at their place. We played "Ring of Fire",
which is really really fun as well as "I've Never", as a sort of an ice breaker. Not that we needed it, since all of us were drunk from the previous game. Was fun anyway. I met their dad, Doug, who was a really cool guy. Knew more about Denmark than all of Tom's friends combined.

Afterwards we just walked home, ate a pizza and went to a drunken sleep.

Just for the record, I think I will just describe the people I've met so far, from what I've noticed about them:

Tom: Real cool guy. He is the one I'm visiting and going on the roadtrip with. Down to earth and fun to talk with.

Jamie: Friendly guy with a lot of jokes. Became a bit of a mean drunk but is quite fun.

Gustav: Swedish guy who's visiting England for the second time. First time he got drunk. He is just one of those guys who want to pop out and seem interesting, which he quite is. It's rare that you see such a young guy travelling all alone. Poor fellow got pressured into drinking just a bit too much.

Maddie: Beautiful but in a cute way, very down to earth kind of girl. She is just that kind of awesome girl that you can be friends with, with ease. Real friendly.

Ryan: Maddie's brother. Laid back kind of guy with a unique sense of humour. Real great to talk to.

and they've been able to pronounce my name almost properly. No points to the Swede for that, however.

Related posts:

1. Travelblog – 5th of August 2010
2. Travelblog – 2nd of August 2010
3. Travelblog – 6th of August 2010 – Conclusion

I arrived at the Billund airport and went through the annoying queue of having to check in. I was ever so happy that they actually do some kind of "You a moron and relatively new to this? Do this and that!" Ate a decent meal at the café there while looking at the arrivals. It's relatively awesome to look at all those happy people coming home from a great vacation to their normal lives. A rare glimpse into other peoples' lives. The entire airport thing kind of got to me, since it reminds me a great deal of my ex. Having to go to England and speak English again kind of strengthened that a bit. She is missed. The flight here was quite uneventful but I had the idea that the flight would only take 30 minutes, while it took more like 1 hour 30 minutes. Probably something to do with not knowing whether or not they changed it to local time or not. Must have sucked for Tom but he decided to read up on his car's manual.

I landed, checked in and met up with the guy. People are really not that tall over here. Nervous chatting ensues and we drive back towards his place. The plan was to go and watch Toy Story 3 - but we were stretching it a bit, time-wise. I met his parents, who are just great and friendly people, and then we sped off to find his friends, put them into a small car and then drive off. We were about 25 minutes late, but the movie hadn't even started yet, much to our surprise. And what a great movie it was! Toy Story 3 didn't disappoint - it just kind of sang a soft song for your nostalgia bone and kept reeling you in with a great story and amazing voice acting.

Dropped the friends off and went home for a bit of planning but we were simply just too tired. I've slept absolutely nothing so I couldn't even read. We went to sleep.

Related posts:

1. Travelblog – 3rd of August 2010
2. Travelblog – 5th of August 2010
3. Travelblog – 6th of August 2010 – Conclusion

"I HATE SAND!"

Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands

Pros:

• More Prince of Persia kind of platform gaming.
• Beautiful levels, design and graphics.
• Great presentation - slick and smooth.
• A good stand-alone game outside of the Sands of Time series.
• Interesting extra elements to the platform puzzles.

Cons:

• A few bugs made it so you couldn't progress. A reload fixed it.
• Constant reuse of the same 3 monsters and 3 bosses.
• Dodgy and annoying camera.
• Occassionally a jump sends you anywhere but where you wanted to go.
• Weak story but is in the same spirit as the other Prince of Persia games.
• Ubisoft DRM

Buy Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands (Amazon.com)

Buy Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands (PC DVD) (Amazon.co.uk)

Related posts:

1. Medal of Honor Multiplayer PC Beta Verdict/Preview

I can't exactly go unemployed forever and since there is pretty much nothing available to a guy with my education, I need to move in a different direction. I have always wanted to educate myself more but have been unable to because of money and other circumstances.

I have always been someone who never know what he wanted to do with life. I know what I enjoy and that is about it. Sadly, most of those things I can't really do as a job - unless I get one of those "once in a thousand" jobs. So I just decided to study what I love and then take the job bridge when I get to it.

I have always played with the idea of going to the university, but lacked the means and personal freedom to do it - but I just wrote down what things I'd love to study. The list was shorter than I thought it would be, but one thing just stuck out from everything else: English.

I've always loved languages, especially Danish and English - but have also loved English literature and their culture (to an extend) - so it felt like a bit of a natural choice. Happy and fulfilled that I have finally found something I thought I might like, I researched it a bit and decided to send an application right away, since a good friend told me I still had a few days to apply in.

Alas, the rejection came mere 2 days later. I had missed one point that said I needed another language at the highest level (Here in Denmark, we have a system. A is the highest "level" you can learn, while F is the lowest). That is, I need Danish at A, English at A and another language at A. I researched it a bit further and realized that every field in the "Humanitarian" group (Pretty much just languages, cultures and such) requires this. I shook my head because there was no logic in this at all, especially since English is pretty much every Dane's secondary language. Why would I need to know a third language at such a high level to learn more about English?

I sent a complaint about this decision and got a rapid response back. Obviously, they won't budge - but they told me that it was the government that changed this in 2008. Great, if I had just applied back fucking then, I would be so happy. I am told that I am welcome to apply once I fulfill these criterion.

After this, I started to look for other educations but have been unable to find anything that really interests me. The only other thing is what is called "Writer's School", but they only take in 8 people a year out of about 250-500 applicants.

I am still quite interested in taking English and since I have Spanish at a C, I will only need to study Spanish at B and A. But it is only select schools in this country that teach this and even fewer that teach a language from the ground up to A - so my hands are a bit tied on that matter. To add to the fact, if I want to learn this in under a year, I will have to move to Copenhagen - which is certainly not an easy or cheap city in live in and I will have absolutely no job or cash flow. If I want to do Spanish B and A in 2 years, I can go to Aalborg, a city where most of my friends live, but I think that 2 years it too long to wait. Incidentally, before I thought about education, I had also thought about just moving to Aalborg and get a job up there until I figure out what I want or until I find a job I actually like.

So right now, I have absolutely no idea what the fuck to do. I also have the faint thought, in the back of my head, that I might not be able to learn Spanish and that I will fail, future adding to the failure of this whole situation. It's only a tiny voice and, I figured, is most likely without reason - since I will have plenty of time to practice and get better. Another small thing is that I practically forgotten everything Spanish, except the grammar and sentence syntaxes, so I'd have to teach myself this somehow quickly.

I will have to figure something out quickly, else I will have bypassed the deadline for the extra Spanish classes.

Dammit.

Related posts:

1. Without a Purpose – “futureless”
2. Dear Diary – Chapter 1

Dear diary,

The summer vacation finally came, at long last, and with it, amazing weather. Blue sky, high temperatures, sun and everything that comes with it. Cafés, ice cream, shopping and everybody appears to be happy and smiling. My smiles have, sadly, been forced unless I am together with Malene. And today, our grand plan of fun started.

Friday, the last day of school, ended in a big party at a classmate's house. I didn't drink a lot but Malene was dead drunk, so I had to take her home. She copped a feel several times, mumbling something about "everybody is envious of your great body, ya know" and then that she was sorry. I don't mind it and I told her. She seemed glad by that. But other than that, it was a relatively eventless day/night. I noticed there was a lot of class mates who got together - lots of kissing and couples disappearing. I somewhat envied them but knew I had Malene and she had a way to kind of kill those "desires" to be with someone. I was told, by her, that a few guys were looking at me and had been asking about me. She had, jokingly, said that I was hers, which I giggled at and played a bit with the idea - but it just made them go for someone else to ask.  I do recall someone coming up to me, awkwardly, giving me a drink and asking me to dance. I said I don't really dance and then he went away. Oh well, can't blame a guy for trying! It was kind of cute how nervous he was and I couldn't help that he had no reason to be nervous. Worst thing he could get is a no, right?

Saturday and Sunday were relatively uneventful, as Malene was at home. No school meant no homework so I didn't know what to do other than watch TV.

Monday: Malene came with a huge bag full of clothes. She was practically moving in for the week! We started on our plan immediatly and after she had changed and showered, we headed out. The weather was amazing so we decided that we wanted to go to the beach instead. We started with the cinema trip first since we figured it'd be too hot on the beach. We didn't really want to watch anything that was currently going, so we just on a random movie. It turned out to be The A-Team. Boy movie! But it was fun. We were being girly girls, chatted, giggled and tossed popcorn at each other - we were the only ones in there, so we could get away with it!  At around 4, we arrived at the beach. People were slowly packing and going home, which meant we had most of the beach to us. We decided to just take in the sun, sunbathe, not care about anything and enjoy ourselves.

Eventually, we figured out that we were actually alone on the beach. Malene pointed out that it was a relatively secluded beach so no one would be able to see us. Not knowing why she would say that, I just gave her a puzzled look but I was about to get wiser. She smiled at me, then took the rest of her clothes off (only bra and underwear at this point) and ran into the water. She called to me to come over. I undressed, ran to her and jumped into the waves, next to her. It was quite warm, but she came over to me and wanted a hug. I hugged her, face to face and she gently kissed me. I was a bit shocked, but then kissed her back. We stopped and she just smiled at me. I love that damn smile. We kept playing around in the water until the sun had set and then my mother came and picked us up. We fell asleep right away.

30/06-2010 23:46

Tuesday: Woke up early and went to the shopping mall as it opened. Neither of us had a lot of money so we just went out to do something. It was a lot of fun. At around 4, we decided to go home after a quick visit to Blockbuster. We borrowed a couple of movies and Malene kept telling us to get a porno while giggling at the images at the back. We rented it but we never really got around to watching it. As we came back, it was still super hot outside and we both went for a shower together to remove the sweat. We didn't feel like getting dressed so we just popped on a big shirt, made popcorn and grabbed soda and began watching random movies. Malene fell asleep quickly, leaning against me. She is still asleep next to me as I write this. She is really cute and she must be dreaming something great as she is smiling.

Oh well, that's enough for me today. Good night.

01/07-2010 21:53

Wednesday: I didn't really look forward to today but Malene insisted. I haven't thought about her or being generally sad while Malene was here, so I kind of hoped that she could be a buffer in me getting a break down on Sus' grave. I wanted to push it as far back on the day as possible, while Malene wanted it to be straight away so we could talk about it afterwards, if necessary. She has turned out to be my therapist, it would seem. I, reluctantly, agreed with her and we went. Just as we approached the graveyard, I was in tears. I tried to hide it from Malene but she grabbed my hand and held it tight while forcing me ahead. I felt a bit foolish, but I just started talking to the grave and it brought me a bit of peace. Malene just sat quietly, with tears coming down her cheek. I pulled her over and hugged her and we cried a bit together. We both felt great afterwards.

We walked away, hand in hand, but neither of us felt like going to the planned football match. We just walked for a bit, with no destination, and then found a bench. Then Malene began to talk. She have held it in for a long time I will write it down as best as I can (Hooray for a great memory, but also because it struck me so hard): "Remember when I told you that it was tough for me to see the most stable person I know, fall so hard? It made me think. A lot. I promised I'd help you out to the best extend of what I can, because you are my best friend but it also made me realize just how quick life can end." she said this with a sob, I moved over to pull her in closer. "So I knew that I had to do what I want, while I still can. Just this week, ya know - I wanted to run into the ocean naked and I got my best friend to follow. I wanted to hug my best friend and I did... I.." she hesitated "wanted to kiss my best friend and I did. But nothing I have done yet, with you, was met with anger or anything." At this point, I kind of knew where the conversation was going but it never came to that. She plainly just asked me "What are we? What are we doing?". I responded with: "We are living life and doing what we want." I told her I could never get angry at her and she could do whatever she wants to do. She responded with a kiss. I noticed a few people looking and pointing, so we went home afterwards. I still feel the kiss on my lips.

She is a tired one, this girl. She fell asleep as we lay down on the bed. I had thought we needed to talk more, but I am glad we didn't have to. I am still not sure what she would think. On one side, I think she'd be okay with and .. we might start dating? I don't know. On another hand, the pessimistic one, I could lose her as a friend. I would have no one left who are close to me.

Good night, diary.

03/07-2010 19:56

Dear diary,

I feel .. tingly. Warm, with butterflies in my stomach, constantly sighing with relief and happiness. I feel like I am floating, I feel like I can conquer the world. I feel accepted, cared about and loved. I am constantly smiling. I simply cannot stop.

I feel happy.

Related posts:

1. Dear Diary – Chapter 20
2. Dear Diary – Chapter 21
3. Dear Diary – Chapter 22

Let me step right up there and say that I love both the Call of Duty series as well as the Battlefield franchise. I have played both to death and still enjoy a game every now and then, despite the lack of new content to both the latest installments (Yes, I know there will be more map packs to Modern Warfare 2 - but it's too little, too late). So when I heard about Medal of Honor, I immediatly had hoped for a spiritual successor to Call of Duty now that it had turned into somewhat of a media circus and a horribly overused teat of a cow, which have turned a weird shade of grey. Then when it was announced that the cool, suave dudes from Swedish DICE (Guys behind Battlefield) were behind the multiplayer, I immediately  had some nerdgasms of joy. A mix of Battlefield and Call of Duty? This is like the freaking Holy Grail for me. While both games happened to have mostly been aimed for the console, sadly, they played relatively well on the PC.

Enter Anger

When they announced a beta at E3, starting right away, I just knew I had to conquer (read: own) this Jesus of FPS games. This Saviour of a time long gone.  I had to have it. I found out that if I owned Bad Company 2 on Steam, I'd be able to get into the beta earlier by preordering it. It sounded so amazing, it couldn't be true! I did just that - and with a few hiccups from EA (Gun Club still isn't working? Really?!) - the beta started.

Offering 2 modes with 2 maps, 1 for each mode, the beta isn't exactly offering a lot of content to play around with - but I am going to assume that the core gameplay is what they have considered will be the in released version. Which is just dreadful. The game offers absolutely nothing new. The gunplay feels mediocre and boring at best. There is no recoil or spread, except with the sniper, lending the idea that the PC beta is just a 1:1 port from the consoles. There is really nothing to it. It can quickly become quite a clusterfuck, especially because grenades, grenade launchers and rocket launchers doesn't have any kind of splash damage. Spawns are weird in team deathmatch, but mostly follows that of later CoD games, where you'd suddenly spawn behind enemy lines with no one nearby.

Despite a run and gun kind of gameplay, the game offers not much else. It gives you a sort of "killstreak" called "team actions", which is either a UAV or a mortar strike. In the form of customizations, you have the choice between 3 "classes". Soldier, spec ops and sniper. Within these classes, you can change/unlock weapons, sights, magazine and barrel.

Yes. That is it. There is nothing else to the game. I've played it for about 2 hours and it is just so mind numbingly boring. No sense of progression, no "umph" from the gameplay. No awesome moves or episodes, where you just sit back and think "Wow.. that was intense". The gameplay seems very calculated as well, with you being able to endure a specific amount of shots anywhere on the body (except the head) before falling on your face in the respawn menu, which was just made to taunt you for dying. The only episode I found "fun" was when I saw a corpse fly over a wall. That was it.

The game have been compared to the awesome Insurgency mod for Half-Life 2. In which it fails. It fails against a mod.

Changes I hope to See

Obviously I'd love to see a change in the gameplay itself. It is just lackluster - there is nothing to it. Maybe it can satisfy the console, but I like to think that we are more sophisticated on the PC and require just a bit more for it to keep our attention. It needs to be PC-ified, just like Bad Company 2 was.

Minor issues:

• Animations look stiff and bland.
• Menus handle like they would on a console. It even boasts several console-only settings, such as D-Pad settings and adjusting your TV-screen.
• Chat system is broke. It just shows a bar, which you can't type into and won't disappear before you die. During that time, you can't move. All you can do is aim and shoot.
• Server browser kicks you back to login screen. They also decided to have forgotten everything they learnt with Bad Company 2.
• Spawning system: Either add more spawn points or think of something else.
• Hit boxes have issues.

Suggestions:

• Respawns are too rapid in TDM, especially for the size of  the map. Add a respawn delay.
• Tune up the destruction possible in the game. You have an engine that is capable of so much, yet decide that a rocket shot or a grenade can't move concrete or bricks. Turning it up will change the game and how it's played totally, camping spots come and go, making the game more interesting and varied. Who wouldn't have wished for destructible environments in Modern Warfare 2?
• More and varied game modes.
• Take a look at BC2. The infantry gameplay in that game is a lot more fun than it is in MoH, which is strictly infantry based. Why is that?

I will keep playing the game - but it does not bode well for now, sadly.

Preorder Medal of Honor (Amazon.com)

Preorder Medal of Honor (PC DVD) (Amazon.co.uk)

Related posts:

1. Yet Another Adventure – Advice on Engine
2. Best Game Ever – Baldur’s Gate 2
3. Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands Verdict/Review