Creative Outlet – a blog full of stories and personal musings

15Mar/100

Dear Diary – Chapter 3

15/03-2010 13:35

Dear diary,

School is done for the day, snow is melting, the sun is shining and I feel a smile appear on my lips whenever I sniff in the air. It's a beautiful world we live in, yet some people still decide that it is best to make it ugly. It is sad to look at or even think about. I walked home with Sus and we took a big de-tour, just to enjoy the nature. She complimented my hair, saying it looks even better in the sun. I smiled at her and gave her a spontaneous hug for it, she hugged back. I could feel on her, that she wanted to say something else so I let go. I think she could feel something about me, too. She started talking, saying she have been very attracted to a guy at school but she didn't know how to go from there. The outspoken, almost a bit angry, Sus didn't know how to talk to guys. I smiled at it, because I thought she would be the one who would know everything about it.

I can share most things with Sus so I did not feel bad when I said I have no experience myself. She nodded, almost like it came as a shock to her. I suppose I am a bit shocked as well, but for other reasons. I am quite a popular girl, one who likes to help and the guys got a good eye to me, at least I think so. Notice so.

Anyway, I started just spouting out logic, spiced with a bit of what I could gather from books and TV shows; get their phone number, show an interest in them, try to chat with them, open up to them, smile to them. As we walked, she just kept nodding till I was done talking. Then she stopped, breathed in and then said: "But what if he doesn't notice the signals I am sending him? Because I have tried a few of those things, texted him, smile to him. It is like he doesn't care that I exist or anything." I assured her, that that was probably not the case. Let time decide what will happen. I almost didn't believe it myself when I said it but I was inexperienced in it and all we could do is assume and reassure each other. We are still young, you know?

She smiled to me and gave me another hug before we went on home.

I wanted to tell her at least a little of my secret so badly, because I know it will help.. but I could not. I simply couldn't.

I will now go exercise, little diary. You will soon hear more.