Creative Outlet – a blog full of stories and personal musings

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Dear Diary – Chapter 16

02/05-2010 23:56

Dear diary, I have no idea where to start. Life.. was taken away from my best friend. She had no life left, so she felt that the best way to get past it, was to end it. I feel like I have cried for 3 days straight, which I probably have. But, as always, things are best told from the start.

I had been trying to contact Sus ever since my hospitalization. My mother decided that it was best I stayed at home, so I had a long time to think about what exactly she said and I came to a different conclusion every time; that she wanted to kill herself, that she wanted to run away, that she wanted me to go ahead with the county. I simply didn't know what to make out of it. I told my mother about it and she tried to call her parents and get to talk to Sus. They hung up immediately, which pissed off my mother. She knew that there was no talking sense to these kind of people, so she couldn't really help much. I tried to go to her house but her private teacher wouldn't let me in, on orders from the parents. I tried to yell to her, but nothing. The teacher even threatened to call the police on me - which I find odd since I must have looked the most innocent with me being in a neck support and with bruises on my face. I, sadly, would have to wait until Friday - which is a holiday here, a Christian one at that - to be able to contact her. I assume her parents will not be around, like most weekends. Wishful thinking. I didn't see much to Malene but I texted to her, throughout the week - but since I couldn't really exercise, she didn't have much of an "excuse" to see me, as she wrote, but I said she can drop by at any time she want. I missed her and Sus. I mostly just sat around, watching TV.

Sunday I received a text from Martin, asking what the hell happened between me and Sus. I didn't answer but asked him how I could contact her. He didn't know. I have been texting him daily this week to see if he knew anything but he did not. He was getting annoyed by me but I didn't care. I kind of feel that he is destroying Sus as well, but I didn't tell him that. I became more and more negative the more I was left alone with my own thoughts. I felt powerless, I couldn't do anything. I have been checking up on laws and you can't even call the police on Sus' parents. They have every right to do, what they are doing - as long as they are not abusing her.

Thursday, I received the news of her death. I was devastated - didn't believe it at first. It was my father who had seen an ambulance outside of Sus' parents' house. Thinking an accident had happened, he asked around the bystanders who told him that it was Sus. That she apparently is dead. Her parents, reluctantly, confirmed it. They found her lifeless on the toilet, but they kept muttering about how she will be in hell now. They didn't seem to blame themselves, my father said.

I am sorry, I cannot write any more. I will come back later, dear diary.