Creative Outlet – a blog full of stories and personal musings

14Jun/100

Dear Diary – Chapter 22

13/06-2010 17:57

Dear diary,

I know I have been quiet lately but when there is only a few things on your mind which I have already written about. Sus's death is still on my mind, but I have no more tears. Just regret, really. School is being annoyingly slow and I can slowly see the summer vacation creep in on us and the amazing week with Malene. Occasionally, however, my entire sexuality "situation" kind of pops into my head, mostly because it is summer and girls are dressing in some quite.. interesting clothes. As a teenager, I can really feel their appearance "impress" me and "affect" me in certain ways. I don't know if I can say that less indirectly - but I haven't felt any desire to do anything after Sus, so I feel that it is kind of a step forward in coping of her loss. Yes, I get horny again and I look at all the hot summery girls and it gives me fantasies I wish I could fulfill. I think I might have been a bit too apparent in me looking at them, because Malene have started commenting on girls as they go by, mostly in a superficial way -- like "She looks great in that" or "She looks like a snob". I really wish I could tell her who I really am, but I suppose it doesn't really matter as long as she is my friend. Could just be great to, ya know, be accepted as who you are.