Creative Outlet – a blog full of stories and personal musings

10Oct/123

Road to Getting Happy

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, it's annoying just being moderately okay. Now I'm just going to go at it with a structured approach.

How to get happy:

  • I want to travel
    • Requires:
      • Money - I have an income of some, so depending on length of trip, I could go within a month
      • Someone to travel with - I want to travel with friends, but fuck - either I have the wrong type of friends or there is something wrong with me so people don't want to travel with me. Or maybe I'm just not being enough upfront about it
        • Solutions:
          • Travel alone - I'm still quite shy and can't just approach people so it'd be for just looking at touristy things and enjoying another country/city. Doable? Definitely, but I think it'll take some serious lack of response from my friends before I can consider this. Maybe it's just about trying it and see if it's me. It's just a weekish of my time and some money and I'd learnt something about myself.
          • Get different friends/more friends/be more upfront and sincere about travelling with someone. Different/more friends is usually only possible when having something in common. To have something in common, I'd have to go out of my way to do certain things, such as organized sports or other similar things. I've already decided to do this when I am more fit. It can also come with a job, see elsewhere in this post. Be more upfront can be to not only put it on Facebook but also ask people upfront, but the fact of the matter is that the closest of my friends don't want to.
          • Travel to visit friends. I am already doing this, but many of my online friends live across huge oceans, which makes it a very costly affair as well as one that have to be planned quite well in order to make the most out of it.

 

  • I want to do things while socializing with my friends
    • Requires:
      • Friends who want to do something - None I know are as impulsive as me, so everything seems to have to be planned. The fact of the matter, though, is that not many of my friends want to move outside of their comfort zone or do something new or different. Going to a restaurant or the cinema requires a lot of factors and it fucking sucks that it's pretty much impossible to get anyone to do it. This is, however, from gouging interest on Facebook. Next time I'd try texting people. When they do go out, it's to get drunk and be in places with loud music where socializing IS impossible, unless you have your physical appearance speaking for you.
        • Solutions:
          • Get different friends/more friends/be more upfront - see above.
          • Do things alone - see above. Many people consider eating in a restaurant or going to the cinema declaring "social bankruptcy". Apparently I still do care what people think.

 

  • I want to write stories and generally create
    • Requires:
      • Motivation - There are times where I just want to sit down and write, but actually doing it takes so much effort it's intense. Why I have no idea, but it certainly requires the right mindset and, since I am a perfectionist, just a few sentences that sound wrong in my head, I'd ditch it.
        • Solutions:
          • Get a job or feel needed somehow. Motivation comes from self-worth and self-worth comes from feeling you are worth something. Not having a job, girlfriend or friends who seem to care for you can remove any of this. I do my best to keep myself on top, but certain actions or lack there of have a tendency to bring my carefully crafted house of cards tumbling down
          • Ask friends to request stories. I'm a people pleaser and there is nothing I love more than to actually write FOR someone.

Anyone out there who have some solid advice?

Filed under: Personal Leave a comment
  • Bokkie

    Trilly, if you ever plan to come to Amsterdam just let me know and I’ll show you arround.

    Bokkie ! 

    Ps I was sad to see the site was no more.. 

  • trillex

    I believe I already have you on my list of people to see. You’re the only one in Holland, though – but definitely kept in my mind. 🙂 

    It needed to be done as it served as a testament of yet another annoying failure. It nagged at me and I constantly kept thinking of ways to improve but no matter what, I never predicted I could get more people in, especially the ones I wanted to get in. It also became a solo project and it was a project where I wanted to include a lot of people, both for brainstorming but also for improvements but there were no one up for the task, despite me begging and pleading. Not holding it against anyone, it’s just very odd. 🙂

    Please don’t be a stranger, sir. 

  • Bokkie

    Much going on the last 6 months of my life (relationship, work, family..) So I didnt really had to time to help you out as much as I would have liked. Since I dont have Facebook or any other socialmedia crap here is my email tonvanduijkeren @gmail.com