Without a Purpose – “futureless”
"Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t."
Such are the lyrics to Baz Luhrmann - Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen). I have often taken refuge in this text because I, quite frankly, do not know what I want to do with my life. I know what I enjoy; but I also know that, what I enjoy, I cannot build a career on, without being extremely skilled, extremely charismatic or get a once-in-a-lifetime job. When I share this to people, I am often surprised to hear that they don't enjoy their jobs or education either, but that they just suck it up. How can they do this? I don't understand how you can tolerate going to a job/education you hate, for many the rest of your life. People sure are doing their very best at breaking down - which kinds of shows a backwards culture. None of them never seem to have thought "Why should I do something I do not enjoy?" and just go on with their lives in misery, where the only reward for being bored and/or stressed out happens in the weekends. I enjoy educating myself, writing, general escape-from-realism things, such as gaming, reading, watching series and movies. I also found myself to be a very social person, which is quite ironic, since I am very shy. How can anyone get an career out of this?
I am a simple man. I enjoy simple things, so I do not find myself difficult. I am not making unrealistic demands to life - I am just attempting to get out of this "futureless" state I am stuck in. "What kind of funny word was that, young man?!" That word was used by someone very dear to me, who doesn't seem to want to have anything to do with such a person, so it has been grudging me a bit more, than it normally would. I am sure it is just a criteria for an ideal man, but I kind of want to increase my chance and not reduce it. How silly does that sound.
I, more often than I should, think about the future. I have some ideas of what I want, but nothing that can really end in a career I'd enjoy. I like studying, educating myself. Becoming smarter. I also enjoy writing, which means I am quite fond of languages, journalism and other things. But if I went into the university to study English, I would very much doubt there'd be a job for me. I even have no idea, what kind of job someone like that would be able to get. Besides that, I truly want to see the world and I love helping people, so maybe just volunteering in certain international programs, but as far as I can understand, there are an overflood of people who want to help out and "see the world" plus I apparently have to pay for most of it myself, which I don't have the money for. That leaves out just traveling with myself or perhaps a friend, but that also costs some big green dollar bills I currently do not possess.
"But what about your current educations?!". Yeah, sure. I got a HHX (Higher Business Education) as well as an IT-supporter I just completed. The first one, I felt, was a waste of time. I do not want to be anything inside of sales or marketing, despite how much it pays. I will not enjoy it and I will begin to hate customers (as I started to do in my previous job), which is entirely not their fault but just the circumstances that makes me an angry t-rex. The IT-supporter was meant as a foundation, a safe-keep you could say. That was before I am in the situation I am in, now. Back then, I kind of knew I'd want to educate myself more, but because I had a girlfriend who also wanted to do it, it would have been smartest for me to get a job with my IT-supporter education, so she could get started on enjoying her own life. Alas, I no longer need to think about that. Now I got the education but due to the work situation here in Denmark, I am having huge difficulties getting a job.