Choices, Future, Present – What Now?
Time for one of those blog updates that are all about ME! Yeah, I know, I know but I don't enjoy writing these either. It is merely for me to understand what the hell is going on, getting it off my shoulders and be able to look at it from another perspective a bit.
I can't exactly go unemployed forever and since there is pretty much nothing available to a guy with my education, I need to move in a different direction. I have always wanted to educate myself more but have been unable to because of money and other circumstances.
I have always been someone who never know what he wanted to do with life. I know what I enjoy and that is about it. Sadly, most of those things I can't really do as a job - unless I get one of those "once in a thousand" jobs. So I just decided to study what I love and then take the job bridge when I get to it.
I have always played with the idea of going to the university, but lacked the means and personal freedom to do it - but I just wrote down what things I'd love to study. The list was shorter than I thought it would be, but one thing just stuck out from everything else: English.
I've always loved languages, especially Danish and English - but have also loved English literature and their culture (to an extend) - so it felt like a bit of a natural choice. Happy and fulfilled that I have finally found something I thought I might like, I researched it a bit and decided to send an application right away, since a good friend told me I still had a few days to apply in.
Alas, the rejection came mere 2 days later. I had missed one point that said I needed another language at the highest level (Here in Denmark, we have a system. A is the highest "level" you can learn, while F is the lowest). That is, I need Danish at A, English at A and another language at A. I researched it a bit further and realized that every field in the "Humanitarian" group (Pretty much just languages, cultures and such) requires this. I shook my head because there was no logic in this at all, especially since English is pretty much every Dane's secondary language. Why would I need to know a third language at such a high level to learn more about English?
I sent a complaint about this decision and got a rapid response back. Obviously, they won't budge - but they told me that it was the government that changed this in 2008. Great, if I had just applied back fucking then, I would be so happy. I am told that I am welcome to apply once I fulfill these criterion.
After this, I started to look for other educations but have been unable to find anything that really interests me. The only other thing is what is called "Writer's School", but they only take in 8 people a year out of about 250-500 applicants.
I am still quite interested in taking English and since I have Spanish at a C, I will only need to study Spanish at B and A. But it is only select schools in this country that teach this and even fewer that teach a language from the ground up to A - so my hands are a bit tied on that matter. To add to the fact, if I want to learn this in under a year, I will have to move to Copenhagen - which is certainly not an easy or cheap city in live in and I will have absolutely no job or cash flow. If I want to do Spanish B and A in 2 years, I can go to Aalborg, a city where most of my friends live, but I think that 2 years it too long to wait. Incidentally, before I thought about education, I had also thought about just moving to Aalborg and get a job up there until I figure out what I want or until I find a job I actually like.
So right now, I have absolutely no idea what the fuck to do. I also have the faint thought, in the back of my head, that I might not be able to learn Spanish and that I will fail, future adding to the failure of this whole situation. It's only a tiny voice and, I figured, is most likely without reason - since I will have plenty of time to practice and get better. Another small thing is that I practically forgotten everything Spanish, except the grammar and sentence syntaxes, so I'd have to teach myself this somehow quickly.
I will have to figure something out quickly, else I will have bypassed the deadline for the extra Spanish classes.
Dammit.
Another Status Update
I can't exactly remember what I wrote last time I made one of these, but I have always had a habit of not rereading anything I write. This have always bitten me in my ass, but I just can't get myself to start doing it so, what I say now might be a repeat.
I am now without a job and I am still trying to figure out how to tell the government I am searching for new jobs, how to tell my worker's union that I am unemployed, so I can get some money and not be completely broke (Yay, Denmark - if you are curious, wikipedia it). But, I am taking this as an opportunity for a reboot of my life (As I also don't have a girlfriend or an apartment anymore). I am currently applying all over the country and have told myself, that I will move for whatever job I find. It can be risky, but I don't really have anything to loose other than money and I am sure it will be an experience for me. Should bring in new opportunities, new friends and a new sensation of achievement and accomplishment.
Besides that, I am just settling my private life. I am now at the bottom, with a healthy reserve of friends, some of them amazing and actually want to spend time with me (GASP!) as well as some older friends, I have regained contact with - thankfully for the better. I have an interest in someone special, but I shall just leave it at that - as a fleeting comment because I don't want to put much into it, if there is nothing there. I am trying to keep myself from going into a rut while being out of work - I have therefore scheduled a "busy" day, getting up at specific times, exercising, applying for jobs, writing (or being creative) and then just me-time. But being available pretty much 24/7 during the days should make for some quality time with friends and more - a friend of mine have even invited me around - which will be fun, I am sure.
I am currently having a few projects I haven't started on. One of them kind of requires a good mental stability, which I do have at the moment - but stay tuned for it. I hope you will like it. I am still, actively, writing on Robert as well as some personal stories that most likely won't be released here. My danish story is on hold, because I do not feel there is an audience for it - but I might rewrite it. It would be awesome, to get a book deal here in Denmark, though. Maybe if I get the concentration, motivation and more to get that moving.
I suppose that is it for now.