The thing with youth hostels (and probably everywhere hostel or hotel like, really) is that you have to be out by 10. This gets a bit tough if you feel like you have had zero sleep and have a friend who hates on his alarm to make it shut up and rolls over. I decided to just let him sleep for a bit more and fend off anyone who wants to clean our room. Sadly, however, I accidentally locked myself outside (We only had one key, Tom had it, but I have no idea where) because the door just wanted to slam even though I tried to keep it open.
I went for a walk around, then came back and I heard music. Great, I thought, Tom is awake. I knock on the door but Sam, a guy we met the previous day, opened up. Tom was still fast asleep and was impossible to get up, despite loud talking and music. We chatted back and forth and he had been staying in Bath for a couple of days, getting drunk in the pubs. He had found a cheaper hostel down into town, so you didn't have to climb this massive mountain up to the youth hostel. 11 pounds! It really doesn't hurt to look around. We got Tom up and got ourselves checked out. We gave Sam a lift to the town as we needed to find a Vodafone store to get my phone fixed. We walked him to his new hostel and headed out to find a Vodafone store, which was amazingly hard to do. We met up with Sam again and just walked around. We got some sausage rolls (Why do the British insist on covering everything in pastry?) and finally found the Vodafone store. A friendly girl fixed up my internet and I bought another SD card so I could at least take some pictures.
Our plan was to see the rest of Bath (Royal Crescent and more) but we just wondered, having an amazing chat with Sam. He had basically been backpacking for 3 month so far out of a 6 month trip. He had been anywhere of interest; Dubai, Paris, London, but had been staying in Bath for quite a few days as he had found a girl he was thoroughly enjoying.. you know what I mean. As we were about to actually do something productive, the parking ran out and we had to leave. Saying goodbye to Sam, we started heading towards Whitesands Bay in Wales.
The trip up there started out with some horrible, horrible motorways but as soon as we got past Cardiff (Capital of Wales), we started getting the more fun roads and with less traffic. We went into a few stores to get beer, food and disposable barbecues. As soon as we came to the coast, we had absolutely no idea where to go. We decided to follow the GPS SatNav, which was set to the postcode in Whitesands Bay. Eventually, we came to a split where the route ended and decided to go down one of them. We came by an abandoned hotel, which was creepy as hell but further down that road we.. very conveniently found a map on the road, showing where the various camping spots and beaches are.
We went back and drove to the closest one. The view was simply breathtaking. A very white beach surrounded by huge cliffs but sadly it was very cloudy. The beach was actually quite busy, despite it being 6-7 pm. We drove in, found a camping spot and put our tent up, ghetto style (tied to the car). Taking in the view, we started up the barbecue and started drinking. I tried out the scotch egg and we had a couple of sausages together with some lamb. It was actually some quite great food, despite the cost and the means it was prepared in. While sitting there, we saw several weird things. A reoccurring and moving light out at sea, random people coming down to the beach with light sticks on their head, moving in very very weird ways, freaking the fuck out of everybody and things written in the sand. The beers disappeared and we decided to head to our tent.
On the way back, we approached by a guy, asking us if we wanted to sit down at their bonfire. We immediately said yes and that was how we met Ollie, Andrew, George, Alexi, Jessica and another one I can't remember the name of. We were introduced to such things as tide watch, rock watch, rain watch and songs associated with it. Andrew and George were amazing singers, so we started to sing various songs. George also happened to be a ballerina (Apparently there isn't a word for the male equivalent of it) and both had been in quires. Drinks were had, I tried out some Sambuca and Jack Daniels. I do not remember a thing afterwards, other than vomiting quite a few times. The day after, we both felt pretty rough. We blame the red wine.
Alright guys, I've decided to make a bit of a travelblog, just for nostalgia reasons and to document my travelling with the great Tom Strawberry.
I arrived at the Billund airport and went through the annoying queue of having to check in. I was ever so happy that they actually do some kind of "You a moron and relatively new to this? Do this and that!" Ate a decent meal at the café there while looking at the arrivals. It's relatively awesome to look at all those happy people coming home from a great vacation to their normal lives. A rare glimpse into other peoples' lives. The entire airport thing kind of got to me, since it reminds me a great deal of my ex. Having to go to England and speak English again kind of strengthened that a bit. She is missed. The flight here was quite uneventful but I had the idea that the flight would only take 30 minutes, while it took more like 1 hour 30 minutes. Probably something to do with not knowing whether or not they changed it to local time or not. Must have sucked for Tom but he decided to read up on his car's manual.
I landed, checked in and met up with the guy. People are really not that tall over here. Nervous chatting ensues and we drive back towards his place. The plan was to go and watch Toy Story 3 - but we were stretching it a bit, time-wise. I met his parents, who are just great and friendly people, and then we sped off to find his friends, put them into a small car and then drive off. We were about 25 minutes late, but the movie hadn't even started yet, much to our surprise. And what a great movie it was! Toy Story 3 didn't disappoint - it just kind of sang a soft song for your nostalgia bone and kept reeling you in with a great story and amazing voice acting.
Dropped the friends off and went home for a bit of planning but we were simply just too tired. I've slept absolutely nothing so I couldn't even read. We went to sleep.
29/06-2010 20:17
Dear diary,
The summer vacation finally came, at long last, and with it, amazing weather. Blue sky, high temperatures, sun and everything that comes with it. Cafés, ice cream, shopping and everybody appears to be happy and smiling. My smiles have, sadly, been forced unless I am together with Malene. And today, our grand plan of fun started.
Friday, the last day of school, ended in a big party at a classmate's house. I didn't drink a lot but Malene was dead drunk, so I had to take her home. She copped a feel several times, mumbling something about "everybody is envious of your great body, ya know" and then that she was sorry. I don't mind it and I told her. She seemed glad by that. But other than that, it was a relatively eventless day/night. I noticed there was a lot of class mates who got together - lots of kissing and couples disappearing. I somewhat envied them but knew I had Malene and she had a way to kind of kill those "desires" to be with someone. I was told, by her, that a few guys were looking at me and had been asking about me. She had, jokingly, said that I was hers, which I giggled at and played a bit with the idea - but it just made them go for someone else to ask. I do recall someone coming up to me, awkwardly, giving me a drink and asking me to dance. I said I don't really dance and then he went away. Oh well, can't blame a guy for trying! It was kind of cute how nervous he was and I couldn't help that he had no reason to be nervous. Worst thing he could get is a no, right?
Saturday and Sunday were relatively uneventful, as Malene was at home. No school meant no homework so I didn't know what to do other than watch TV.
Monday: Malene came with a huge bag full of clothes. She was practically moving in for the week! We started on our plan immediatly and after she had changed and showered, we headed out. The weather was amazing so we decided that we wanted to go to the beach instead. We started with the cinema trip first since we figured it'd be too hot on the beach. We didn't really want to watch anything that was currently going, so we just on a random movie. It turned out to be The A-Team. Boy movie! But it was fun. We were being girly girls, chatted, giggled and tossed popcorn at each other - we were the only ones in there, so we could get away with it! At around 4, we arrived at the beach. People were slowly packing and going home, which meant we had most of the beach to us. We decided to just take in the sun, sunbathe, not care about anything and enjoy ourselves.
Eventually, we figured out that we were actually alone on the beach. Malene pointed out that it was a relatively secluded beach so no one would be able to see us. Not knowing why she would say that, I just gave her a puzzled look but I was about to get wiser. She smiled at me, then took the rest of her clothes off (only bra and underwear at this point) and ran into the water. She called to me to come over. I undressed, ran to her and jumped into the waves, next to her. It was quite warm, but she came over to me and wanted a hug. I hugged her, face to face and she gently kissed me. I was a bit shocked, but then kissed her back. We stopped and she just smiled at me. I love that damn smile. We kept playing around in the water until the sun had set and then my mother came and picked us up. We fell asleep right away.
30/06-2010 23:46
Tuesday: Woke up early and went to the shopping mall as it opened. Neither of us had a lot of money so we just went out to do something. It was a lot of fun. At around 4, we decided to go home after a quick visit to Blockbuster. We borrowed a couple of movies and Malene kept telling us to get a porno while giggling at the images at the back. We rented it but we never really got around to watching it. As we came back, it was still super hot outside and we both went for a shower together to remove the sweat. We didn't feel like getting dressed so we just popped on a big shirt, made popcorn and grabbed soda and began watching random movies. Malene fell asleep quickly, leaning against me. She is still asleep next to me as I write this. She is really cute and she must be dreaming something great as she is smiling.
Oh well, that's enough for me today. Good night.
01/07-2010 21:53
Wednesday: I didn't really look forward to today but Malene insisted. I haven't thought about her or being generally sad while Malene was here, so I kind of hoped that she could be a buffer in me getting a break down on Sus' grave. I wanted to push it as far back on the day as possible, while Malene wanted it to be straight away so we could talk about it afterwards, if necessary. She has turned out to be my therapist, it would seem. I, reluctantly, agreed with her and we went. Just as we approached the graveyard, I was in tears. I tried to hide it from Malene but she grabbed my hand and held it tight while forcing me ahead. I felt a bit foolish, but I just started talking to the grave and it brought me a bit of peace. Malene just sat quietly, with tears coming down her cheek. I pulled her over and hugged her and we cried a bit together. We both felt great afterwards.
We walked away, hand in hand, but neither of us felt like going to the planned football match. We just walked for a bit, with no destination, and then found a bench. Then Malene began to talk. She have held it in for a long time I will write it down as best as I can (Hooray for a great memory, but also because it struck me so hard): "Remember when I told you that it was tough for me to see the most stable person I know, fall so hard? It made me think. A lot. I promised I'd help you out to the best extend of what I can, because you are my best friend but it also made me realize just how quick life can end." she said this with a sob, I moved over to pull her in closer. "So I knew that I had to do what I want, while I still can. Just this week, ya know - I wanted to run into the ocean naked and I got my best friend to follow. I wanted to hug my best friend and I did... I.." she hesitated "wanted to kiss my best friend and I did. But nothing I have done yet, with you, was met with anger or anything." At this point, I kind of knew where the conversation was going but it never came to that. She plainly just asked me "What are we? What are we doing?". I responded with: "We are living life and doing what we want." I told her I could never get angry at her and she could do whatever she wants to do. She responded with a kiss. I noticed a few people looking and pointing, so we went home afterwards. I still feel the kiss on my lips.
She is a tired one, this girl. She fell asleep as we lay down on the bed. I had thought we needed to talk more, but I am glad we didn't have to. I am still not sure what she would think. On one side, I think she'd be okay with and .. we might start dating? I don't know. On another hand, the pessimistic one, I could lose her as a friend. I would have no one left who are close to me.
Good night, diary.
03/07-2010 19:56
Dear diary,
I feel .. tingly. Warm, with butterflies in my stomach, constantly sighing with relief and happiness. I feel like I am floating, I feel like I can conquer the world. I feel accepted, cared about and loved. I am constantly smiling. I simply cannot stop.
I feel happy.
Since certain morons cannot read, I will just go right ahead and tell you: This is in the STORIES category - i.e. IT IS PURELY FICTION. ANOTHER GIVE AWAY WOULD BE THE FACT THAT IT IS A CHAPTER!
That is all.
23/05-2010 02:25
Dear diary,
Every time I am left alone and while not doing anything to occupy my mind, I start to think about Sus. I cannot grasp the concept of death. My mind is trying to ease me into it and just making me imagine it like she moved far away and that I will never see her again -- that she isn't really gone. The very idea that someone so special to you is suddenly gone and the fact that I will never be able to see her again saddens me to no end. It makes me cry. It makes me become negative and I just cannot see a light at the end of the tunnel from this. Like it will never get better.
I can only think that this was probably how Sus felt. Unable to change her life and nothing to look forward to. It kind of gives me a bit of solace to think that I might understand why she did it. When I reached that realization, it felt like I suddenly felt a lot better. I can't exactly understand why, it just felt like it clicked. Like an equation suddenly making sense. I lay restless a lot lately, not able to sleep until at least 4 in the morning and being unable to get out of bed. I know my mother is getting worried so she is kind of just being supportive and not very pushy for me to get things done. I heard her tell my dad that she have no idea what to do with me, other than give me support and time.
I showed mother the suicide letter. I just kind of gave it to her without saying anything and then leaving again, hopefully telling her that I have no idea how to talk about and that I probably don't want to. She haven't said anything about it, which is probably for the best - but I felt she deserved to know what was going on since she had helped me out with the letter.
Anyway, it's been absolutely beautiful outside in the last couple of days. I think it hit 28 degrees today, so Malene and I have just been out enjoying it. We have been walking around town, mostly just trying to get a tan but also chatting a bit. We were trying to decide what to do in the week where she is still at home. We decided to stay at my place all week, so she is bringing her covers and clothes, so it'll be like a small trip for her. But what we have so far is:
Monday: Depending on weather, go swimming. Afterwards go see a movie in the cinema. We'll figure out which one later on.
Tuesday: Go shopping in the mall. Should be loads of fun. Afterwards just crash at my place and watch a few movies or whatever comes up.
Wednesday: Go visit Sus' grave. This saddened me a bit but I think it will be a great to get some kind of closure. It was Malene's idea and I feel kind of bad for not having suggested it myself. Afterwards we'll go and see the guy's from our class play football. Just to cheer them on.
Thursday: Malene suggested we should try and get some drinks and just drink at my place. Might be fun! I asked if we she should invite someone and she said "Not necessarily, it'll just be us having fun while being drunk!".
Friday: Nothing really, go watch another movie in the cinema and see where the night takes us.
Saturday and Sunday: We haven't decided yet, but we have a good and packed schedule so far.
Discussing this plan made me feel great again and full of life. But alas, as I came home and Malene wasn't around, I sank into my hole again. I have been trying to sleep for the last 5 hours. Malene stopped answering my texts 2 hours ago so I am just mindlessly sitting on the internet but nothing can keep my attention for long.
Good night, diary.
14/03-2010 03:48
Dear diary,
I am sorry to wake you up at this hour, but I cannot sleep anymore. I just woke up with a kind of excitement from the things I am going to tell you. This might sound silly, but it is something that have been on my heart for a long time and every time I try to tell someone about it, they do or act differently to what I had hoped. Usually with prejudice and misunderstanding - so I have kept the cards close to my body and not said a word to anyone. Yes, what could it be, that I want to tell you? I will tell you soon.
I might as well get up now and start the day early. Sundays, that means homework, homework and fun! Maybe I should call Sus and annoy her a bit.
Good night, diary.